How many times have you heard the statement "I'll never be in a position to pardon myself for what I've done?" Perhaps you're even guilty of making that statement yourself. Forgiveness can be a very difficult thing to supply another who has offended or hurt us, but forgiving ourselves seems to be even tougher. There appears to be a tendency to hold ourselves far more responsible than we hold others for the very same offense.
Why is that? One reason is pride. While that may seem to be a contradiction, it's truly not. Whenever we impose a different set of rules, or enact a higher set of standards for ourselves over others, that is pride. When we will be able to find it within our self to pardon others, but not ourselves, what we are in effect saying is that we are less capable of making a poor decision than others. We are stating that we suspect our self to be more discerning, reasonable, more insightful and more careful than others, and therefore , we haven't any excuse for doing what we did and shouldn't excuse ourselves. When God Himself, offers to pardon the sins of all who seek His forgiveness but we refuse to excuse ourselves, we are setting ourselves above others and that, called by any other name is still pride.
So how does one pardon one's self? Straightforward, just like they'd pardon some other person. The beliefs are the same.
First, one must search out the forgiveness of God for all sin ultimately is against Him. King David reminded us of that when he sought forgiveness for sleeping with a married lady. He then compounded the offense when he had her partner removed from the picture by ordering him to the front lines of battle where he knew he'd be killed. In Psalm 51:3&4, he cries out to God and announces, "For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Against you and you only I have sinned and done what's evil in your sight."
God is ready and waiting to forgive your sin and then, He guarantees to remember it no more.
I John 1:9 "If we confess our sin, He's faithful and just to forgive us our sin and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
The very next step is to remember that forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. In the same way you should decide to excuse somebody, (not just try and feel happier about them or what they did) you should decide to excuse yourself.
Next, it is exceedingly important to remember that forgiveness doesn't imply excusing the action "for someone else, or yourself. That is what so powerful about forgiveness. It's selecting to excuse in spite of the wrong or terrible thing done to or by you. It also means not dwelling on it any more or bringing it up again in any further conversation, either with others, or yourself.
When true forgiveness takes place, it involves taking pity on that person and recognizing that they need grace as much as you do. Forgiving yourself means taking pity on yourself, as much as you would any other person. With that, goes recognizing and recognizing your desire for grace. Don't be hard on yourself. You're a human being with weakness and issues and a great capacity for messing up. Take responsibility for the injustices you have done, receive God's forgiveness and then extend that hand of mercy to yourself.
If, your Heavenly Father in all His greatness and power unreservedly extends forgiveness to you when you ask, who are you not to discover how to forgive yourself?
Why is that? One reason is pride. While that may seem to be a contradiction, it's truly not. Whenever we impose a different set of rules, or enact a higher set of standards for ourselves over others, that is pride. When we will be able to find it within our self to pardon others, but not ourselves, what we are in effect saying is that we are less capable of making a poor decision than others. We are stating that we suspect our self to be more discerning, reasonable, more insightful and more careful than others, and therefore , we haven't any excuse for doing what we did and shouldn't excuse ourselves. When God Himself, offers to pardon the sins of all who seek His forgiveness but we refuse to excuse ourselves, we are setting ourselves above others and that, called by any other name is still pride.
So how does one pardon one's self? Straightforward, just like they'd pardon some other person. The beliefs are the same.
First, one must search out the forgiveness of God for all sin ultimately is against Him. King David reminded us of that when he sought forgiveness for sleeping with a married lady. He then compounded the offense when he had her partner removed from the picture by ordering him to the front lines of battle where he knew he'd be killed. In Psalm 51:3&4, he cries out to God and announces, "For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Against you and you only I have sinned and done what's evil in your sight."
God is ready and waiting to forgive your sin and then, He guarantees to remember it no more.
I John 1:9 "If we confess our sin, He's faithful and just to forgive us our sin and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
The very next step is to remember that forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. In the same way you should decide to excuse somebody, (not just try and feel happier about them or what they did) you should decide to excuse yourself.
Next, it is exceedingly important to remember that forgiveness doesn't imply excusing the action "for someone else, or yourself. That is what so powerful about forgiveness. It's selecting to excuse in spite of the wrong or terrible thing done to or by you. It also means not dwelling on it any more or bringing it up again in any further conversation, either with others, or yourself.
When true forgiveness takes place, it involves taking pity on that person and recognizing that they need grace as much as you do. Forgiving yourself means taking pity on yourself, as much as you would any other person. With that, goes recognizing and recognizing your desire for grace. Don't be hard on yourself. You're a human being with weakness and issues and a great capacity for messing up. Take responsibility for the injustices you have done, receive God's forgiveness and then extend that hand of mercy to yourself.
If, your Heavenly Father in all His greatness and power unreservedly extends forgiveness to you when you ask, who are you not to discover how to forgive yourself?
About the Author:
Burton Rager author of "Living Life Set Free" and "God's Answer?" Click to learn more about Forgiving Yourself and receive a complimentary copy of "God's Answer?" To warch a video go to How To Forgive Yourself
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